Descriptive reflection
Subject: Self-introduction letter
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Dillon Chew and I am writing this letter to introduce myself. I am currently a year one student from the Robotics Systems Engineering programme in Singapore Institute of Technology. I previously graduated with a Diploma in Mechatronics and Robotics from Singapore Polytechnic.
Even though I had decided to specialize in the field of robotics before entering polytechnic, it was not something I particularly had an interest in. It was only much later in my final year my interest in robotics sparked. I used to think that all the math and physics I was learning was pointless and had no real world applications. However, that all changed as I started my final year project.
For my final year project in polytechnic, I was tasked to create an autonomous vehicle, the purpose of which was to transport people from one place to another within the airport's premises while concurrently avoiding other people and obstacles. Having extensive knowledge of both physics and math was integral for this project as many of the algorithms used for robotics are all built upon the fundamentals. As my foundation was weak due to me taking those subjects lightly, I initially often spent most of my afterschool hours revising. The next step after understanding all these formulas was knowing how to get the desired output with it. It was a long and arduous process requiring a ton of trial and error and time spent debugging programs. However, nothing brought me greater satisfaction than being able to watch my hard work come to fruition with the system working as intended. That experience ignited my passion for robotics as well as taught me how important it was to have a strong foundation in both physics and math to be able to build sophisticated systems.
Although I have no issues with public speaking and may be able to speak confidently in front of a crowd, when being asked a question I do not have an answer to immediately or if I lose my train of thought, I start stumbling over my words and start making simple grammatical mistakes or form poorly constructed sentences that do not make any sense. This is something that I have been struggling with for quite awhile now but perhaps I could correct this with the skills learnt from this module.
My goals for this module are to be able to answer coherently to any question thrown at me as well as to be an effective communicator that is able to apply critical thinking to daily applications.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review this letter.
Best regards,
Dillon
Edited 26 September 2021
Read Yuxin's, Xinyi's and Colin's posts.
Hello Dillon,
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed your letter from start to finish, particularly the part where you talked about your final project on the autonomous vehicle. It offered me an interesting insight of how 3 years of polytechnic education, compressed into a few months of blood, sweat and tears can give rise to such a strong satisfaction and hunger for success.
I believe that with your drive, you will be able to achieve more and at the same time meet your goals for this module! Cheers!
- Colin
Hi Dillon,
ReplyDeleteI read your self-introduction and I found it interesting as I was able to get to know more about you and understand your interests in greater detail. My feedback for your self-introduction is given below.
Content: All the required topics has been addressed.
Organization: Topics are distinctly separated into 5 clear paragraphs with a smooth transition between
Language accuracy and grammatical errors: Good. "I am writing this letter to introduce myself. My name is Dillon Chew", I think you should have first introduced yourself and then write about what your subject is for the letter.
Hi Ruth,
DeleteThanks for pointing that out! That was definitely something I had completely glanced over and I have since edited it.
Hi Dillon,
ReplyDeleteIt is certainly relatable that learning purely the theory part of our diploma will feel pointless after awhile. However, after applying what we learnt to the real world, we will get reminded why we joined our course in the first place. Your flow of the letter was good too however, there are some language error such as
1. "may be able to speak confidently in front of a crowd, when being asked a question I do not have an answer to immediately..." is a comma splice error.
Overall, it was an interesting read!
Best Regards,
Yu Xin
Dear Dillon,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this richly detaled, informative letter. I thoroughly enjoyed learning about your robotics learning journey illustrated in the poly project work you did. My only question is this: Did you actually build the robot? You mention that it was devised to transport people for 'the airport.' That would seem to indicate both purpose and result.
I also appreciate your honest reflection on some communication weaknesses and needs. I do hope this module can address those. Let's start by looking at language use.
1. phrasing/subordination
-- It was only much later in my final year did my interest in robotics spark.
> (need for a subordinate clause and appropriate verb) It was only much later in my final year that my interest in robotics sparked.
-- I was tasked to create an autonomous vehicle for which purpose was .... >
I was tasked to create an autonomous vehicle, the purpose of which was ....
2. reducing snetence complexity
-- Although I have no issues with public speaking and may be able to speak confidently in front of a crowd, when being asked a question I do not have an answer to immediately or if I lose my train of thought, I start stumbling over my words and start making simple grammatical mistakes or form poorly constructed sentences that do not make any sense. >
(This sentence is beautiful and grammatically correct -- despite YuXin's allegation otherwise. In terms of sentence structure, it is compoud/complex, with five subordinate clauses and a compound main clause. This shows real writing dexterity. That being said though, in an engineering report or even letter context, I'd suggest you try making your sentences a bit more concise, for simplicity's sake.)
I don't want to seem too pedantic. There's much good in this first main assignment. I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to review my introduction letter. I am elated that you enjoyed it. I did manage to build the robot to serve its purpose. However, the mapping and path planning algorithms were still very unrefined and since I was about to graduate, I had to pass the mantle to the next batch of students. Regarding whether or not it was actually tested and used in the airport, I have no clue as I did not follow up on it after graduating.
Thank you for pointing out the phrasing/subordination errors. I did find those sentences a bit weird too however I could not put my finger on it. I will take note of this in my future writing and hopefully will not make the same mistake.
It is also fine to be a bit more scrupulous. I am always striving to improve in my writing and I will gladly take any feedback/criticism anyone has to offer. I do agree that it was a bit complex and Yuxin's comment made me doubt myself a little when I was reading the sentence again.
Regards,
Dillon
Thanks for responding. :)
Delete